Friday, April 12, 2013

What do you do when you feel gagged? I feel gagged...

Have you ever been in a situation where you strongly want to express how you feel or you desperately want to voice out all you have been bottling up but something seems to hold you back each time you try? Sometimes you are on the brink of uttering those words building inside of you but you are forced to clench your teeth to prevent the words from coming out. Your heartbeat races faster and your chest rises higher because you are using up energy trying to lock in those words fighting to be free. The feeling can be likened to nights when you sleep and have a nightmare that you are being attacked by evil forces. When you try to call out the name of Jesus, it seems like your voice is gone. As you summon all the energy in you, you feel like you cannot breathe, your throat is super dry and your neck is being squeezed by invisible hands. Remember those nightmares and horrific nights? 

Okay, back to reality. It can really be frustrating especially if you are the expressive type like me. You are so sick and tired of trying to play nice and diplomatic that you just want to speak your mind not giving a damn about the consequences; but you remember that the consequences are likely to come back and bite you till you groan in pain. It could be that people might get hurt which may hurt you in return or you may become victimized with vindication still faraway. Situations like this places you in a vulnerable position and you mustn't throw caution to the wind when handling them.

For instance,

You have an issue with a your boyfriend that you dread to discuss because it might end up virtually wrecking your relationship. He is not stepping up in an area you want him to, an area that means so much to you. Maybe he is below your standard (in terms of taste or education) and you have tried to cope with it to see if there could be positive changes. However, after a long time of trying to help, he still doesn't meet up and it is getting to you. It has gotten to your neck and you feel like throwing up all you have held inside all this time but you know it would hurt him. He is so ignorant about this and thinks you are satisfied with the way he is. He is so nice and he loves you so much; telling him will completely tear him apart and seeing him hurt is the last thing you want, so you feel gagged...

You have a nasty boss who
has been misbehaving and bullying you. He has been stepping on your toes and takes your shine when you do anything commendable claiming that you are under him and he teaches you everything you know. You need to address the issue and express how you feel. He holds a very high position-somewhat untouchable in your organisation and could victimize you since he doesn't give a damn about you. Reporting him may not do you any good because those who would eventually look into your situation are his pals-
"dogs don't eat dogs", so you feel gagged...

You have a colleague who for reasons unknown to you finds it fun rubbing it in your face that she is your superior. She sends you on silly errands and sometimes embarrasses you. She is most times in your business and make you uncomfortable. You want to man up and tell her to watch it but she could accuse you of insubordination which your organisation highly frowns at. You want to report to her but you remember that in
situations like yours, the superior officer wins, so you feel gagged...

At the home front too much is being demanded from you. It seems like you are giving and not receiving. You feel worn out and drained. You want to run away. It seems like your parents do not understand that you need time for yourself to do personal stuff; they just have a way of keeping you busy with house cares. Your dad is the type who feels he is always right and he always counters whatever you say with his own ideologies. You get home from work and the homework is waiting for you. Imagine getting home to cook beans after a long day at work.
You want to ask them for space to think and get yourself together, but you tried it once and they called you lazy and self-centered. They feel are training you for the future when you become independent. Now you cannot take it anymore because it is sapping your strength which is frustrating you. You feel like opening your mouth and allowing the words of frustration flow out, but you remember the horrible response you got the last time you did that, so you feel gagged...

What do you do when you feel gagged?  I feel gagged...




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10 comments:

  1. Insightful post. One everyone of us can relate to, at least once in a while. Whenever I feel 'gagged', I try to take some time out to meditate. Maybe taking a long walk, reading a book, squeezing out time to go see a movie, taking a long nap, calling a friend I haven't spoken to in a while . . . just anything to take the stress of me and make me feel lighter. And then, prayer works too! It's well, dear.

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    1. I think talking to someone who could help is my best option. Geebee you have been an inspiration and I wish I could have you for keeps *winks*

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  2. Ayo 4rm gbagada
    Wow! This is a wonderful and mind blowing piece. It exemplifies wat happens to us in real life situations. The truth of d matter is dat dr r some things u wanna take actions against but u wen u think abt d aftermath of ur actions,u'll be forced to soft-pedder which cud be frustrating and hurting but one which realize that by keeping silent was rily worth it. Thumbs up Fredilia!

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    1. Ayo my silent reader, thanks for taking out time to comment. I really do appreciate it. Happy you think my write-up is wonderful and mind blowing. Thumbs up to you too!

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  3. I love how this relates to reality,.and whenever I feel gagged I just sleep or do something I haven't done in a long tym. Thumnbs up

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    1. Thank you! Hmmm...sleep is a good one! I should try it.

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  4. Hmn, it can be tricky. These situations are all different and should be treated differently. I think the power is not really in what you say but HOW you say them. Take boyfriend situation for instance, you may think that because you love them, you don't want to hurt them but truth is, you'll never grow if you keep playing the role of "nice girlfriend". If he loves you and is mature, he'll listen to you and understand. It won't be perfect but frankly, no situation is so you can work on compromise.

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    1. Absolutely correct, no situation is perfect. We always have to compromise one way or the other and how we communicate it is key. Thanks dear for the advice. Taken!

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  5. How about writing about what worries you? Write a letter to the party about what/all you wish you can tell them. In crafting the words on paper, it opens your head/heart and you might actually arrive at a solution..how to approach the issue or resolve it.

    Issues with parents i can endure. but with friends and relationships with opposite sex, you need to talk. That is part of growing in the relationship..talking about issues that worry you in a way that is positive. Resentment hurts relationships.

    Instead of why dont you dress like so so and so. Look through a mag with him, tell him, 'wow you will look so dashing in this'. if he says that is expensive, tell him there are cheaper versions. and when he does make an effort, suffocate him (lol) with praises. who no like praise.

    With parents same. maybe cook plenty over the weekend. Explain to your parents how tired you feel when you get back on weekdays and you just want to ease your stress. They might pretend they didn hear. But next time, they want to leave homework for you, they will have a rethink.

    No gagging.

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    Replies
    1. Wow Ginger, you have done a great job! I truly appreciate it. Thank you! Writing sure helps but giving it to the party...it depends on the party. Communicating is the best way out when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex but with parents...just a readjustment of my schedule to fit my needs (don't really like the talk talk part). For workplace issues...haven't figured that one yet.

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