Saturday, August 20, 2016

There is never a Perfect Time

Jeez! The last time I published was on the 21st of September 2014, and a whole lot has happened since then. One of them was work, work, work, work, work, work...
My department was given additional job duties which I found overwhelming. (overwhelming in a singsongy...) I got home fagged and unable to think straight, let alone type anything. My laptop seemed like a burden and typing seemed like a chore. (I prefer typing using my laptop to my phone. Although that's gonna change from now on.) I told myself, 'this too shall pass' and gave my body time to readjust to the new workload.

Unfortunately for poor me, as I was readjusting, (which actually took an unnecessary long time), another change hit me. I was temporarily reassigned to another location which had way more work load than the previous, and it was farther from home. The road...OMG was more than terrible! Calling it a bumpy ride to work is an understatement. I was also one man down at the new location for some weeks which was killing. During that period writing didn’t appeal to me in any way. I just wanted that phase of my life to be over.

However, I realised that there is never a perfect time. Something must always come up to distract you. It’s just the way the world works. That is why there is a word called FOCUS. I actually lost focus. I had no excuse to stop writing. Like my bestie said, I was just plain lazy. I am even busier now but I am more focused. The clock will not stop ticking for my sake, neither will traffic stop moving. I have to just make it work, which is what I have decided to do from now on. No going back!

So my darlings, I am back with a bang! (I just wanted to say that, love the sound of it.) Anyway darlings, until my next post, stay focused!

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Sunday, September 21, 2014

The Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award

I don't know who invented this award but the person must be creative and did some good thinking. The Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award is an award passed from sister blogger to sister blogger, and there are just 5 conditions to be met when you accept the award:
1.Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site
2.Put the awards logo on your blog
3.Answer their ten questions
4.Make up 10 new questions for your nominees
5.Nominate 10 bloggers
I have accepted this cute award with a grateful heart and now, meeting the conditions (singsongy)
Drum rolls...

Abieyuwa, air hugs and kisses to you! I discovered her blog Miss Purpleheart recently and I have been visiting ever since. She is entertaining and knows how to engage her readers. I really feel honoured because it means someone out there acknowledges what I do. Thank you for nominating me Miss Purpleheart aka the "fixer" (got that from your About page)!

Her question:
"Tell us about a part of you that you struggled with (e.g. a habit, nose, shape, leg) and how you overcame the fear."

A part of me that I struggled with:
I am and have always been skinny. In primary school, I was not conscious of it until in primary 6 when I told a classmate that I exercised on Saturdays and she said something like "tirin-gbekun" like you, you will just break. (Tirin-gbekun is a Yoruba insult for a thin person, not sure of the spelling.) I was crushed. I knew I was skinny but I loved it. It never came across to me as something I should be worried about. I got over the harsh words after some days. In secondary school, insulting with physical shortcomings was a norm and I wasn't left out. I knew my skinny stature would be my housemates' point of attack and I was prepared. So when I had battle of words with them, I wore my mental shields and took bullets of words like tirin-gbekun, turning stick, toothpick, AIDS patient without getting hurt. Of course I shot back at them, thank God for the fire tongue He blessed me with.

However after about 3years in the boarding school, puberty set in and girls started experiencing menstruation and the obvious chest change which to us was a confirmation that you were maturing as a woman because it made you more appealing. I was excited about this beautiful chest change. I saw Ada's, Seyi's, Tina's (not real names) and waited for mine. Each morning I would check my chest for any change and began to notice the growth. I was very happy and had a picture how I wanted them to look. After a while after almost everyone had fully developed mammary glands, mine were like little kids next to theirs. I was disappointed and it became my housemates' new point of attack. This time my shield wasn't thick enough. Even though I acted like the words didn't mean a thing, I was actually hurt. I started getting worried because I thought something was wrong somewhere. Maybe my hormones got confused and developed my brains instead of my chest.

How I overcame it:
During the next long holiday, I felt compelled to open up to my mum. I poured out my heart to her and she responded with the most beautiful words that contributes to my self confidence till date. She said I had no problem whatsoever, rather I had a gift. She said small breasts were a blessing because after child birth and breast feeding, they do not fall or become gigantic like big breasts. She also said they do not cause discomfort later in life like some big breasts do. She told me not to worry and be proud of them. Surprisingly she showed me hers and they looked very "fit" even after four kids. My face was plastered with a big smile and I held on to her encouragement.

After the talk with my sweet mum, there was nothing anyone said about my boobs that got to me.  I gave housemates the same response with pride when they tried to make fun of me. To my amazement, they agreed and they knew that using that as a target point in our usual war of words was a total waste of time. Right now, I totally love my chest. I don't wear push up bras or over padded bras and my boobs are not even an issue. I am so proud of them.

My question:
Borrowing from Aby who stole, sorry borrowed from Ugo "Tell us about a part of you that you struggled with (e.g. a habit, nose, shape, leg) and how you overcame the fear."

My nomination is a mixture of female bloggers whose work I admire and bloggers turned friends who have been very supportive.

Until next time, 
Be uniquely different, be you.

Please do not forget to like my Facebook page by clicking the Facebook like button to your right and follow me on twitter @frediliamomodu One love!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

He is not the man you desire, yet you remain with him. WHY?

Source Google
I am writing this post with a mixture of sadness and anger. A story of a lady who was killed by her boyfriend because she refused his proposal inspired this. On her way to the hospital, she said it wasn’t the first time he was violent and she didn’t have the intention of marrying him. It got me thinking, “Why was she still with him if she knew she wasn’t going to marry him?” May her soul rest in peace; but if she had left him earlier, she might still be alive.

The sad and annoying thing is many ladies do this. They date guys they don’t truly love and chicken out when he proposes or actually act like a chicken and enter into a marriage they regret after a few years. It is one of the reasons why many marriages fail. Now I am asking the ladies, “Why remain with a guy if he isn’t the man you desire?”  Is it

For the Money? If you don’t love him, don’t love his money; and if he is not your kind of guy, don’t spend his money. It is unfair to deceive a guy and pretend you love him because your eyes are on his cash or his bank account, and then break his heart in the end. Ladies with big mouths, awoof dey run belle! Ladies with small brains, money is not love so don’t be deceived by it. Some ladies have met trouble because of their long throats. For the guys who spend to impress or feel money can buy love, OYO is your case!

For security?  There is this aura of pride ladies exude when they say they have a man. Let me say that not being in a relationship doesn’t make you a less of a woman. If you are destined to be married, you will be. You don’t need to cling to a man because you feel uncomfortable telling people that you are not in a relationship. It is a warped mentality to look down on a lady because she has no man in her life. It takes a moment to meet a good man and it does not take eternity to get married to him if he is the one.

For convenience? Some ladies don’t entertain the idea of struggling with a guy. They want a man who has a good job, a car, an apartment, etc. in summary, a ready-made man. They want someone that would make their lives easier. When they find a ready-made man, they feel like they have won a lottery. They attach to him and convince themselves that they love or will love him even if they do not and may never. They do all they can to settle down with him because to them, he is gold; but realize later that there is still something missing. It is not a sin if he is still searching for a job or living with his parents. That ready-made man was not born ready-made.

Just for companionship? Some ladies love company. They hate being alone. If they have to be home alone, they call their friends or go over to a friend’s. They are the kind of ladies who send wrong signals to a guy who really wants them. They hang out him like a girlfriend would and this brother would think he has got himself a woman. But when he pops the question to make it official, they realise the commitment is way too much. They only wanted company and they use excuses like you are more like a brother to me after spending his cash and chasing away potential wife materials.

Because of pressure? I actually feel for these ladies because it is stressful when you live with a family who constantly drum it into your ears that you need to bring a man home and make it seem like it is your fault you have no man. Those who are not strong enough to stand their grounds give in and date any Tom that asks them out or any Harry their families hook them up with. The sad thing is even if they don’t feel fulfilled in the relationship; they just stay in it to avoid the pressure. Please do not be with a man due to pressure from anyone because none of those you are trying to please will stay in the relationship or marriage with you.

Because you are desperate? Desperation makes one do crazy things such as dating a man that is totally not your type. When some ladies hear the sound of their clock ticking towards 30, they become frantic and begin to look for guys like hawks looking for chicks. Any man becomes their choice as long as he is financially capable. They tell themselves marriage is not all about love and claim that as long as he can take care for you, everything will work out fine. Pure crap if you ask me! A fresh graduate is usually desperate for a job and is willing to take any that comes his way but after getting his first job, he starts looking for another option because he is not satisfied. Marriage is not like a job that you can change when you are not satisfied, so you cannot be desperate.

Because a prophet said so? Some ladies love to seek the opinions of prophets and some end up going to false prophets who give them false information and make them end up with the false…sorry wrong guy. Even when everything about the relationship is wrong, they still hold on to it. They become deaf to the silent whispers of God because they only have ears for the words of the false prophet. To such ladies, be careful! Not every prophesy is from God. Root yourself in the Lord and let Him guide you.

Because you feel stuck? This is for ladies who are in relationships that are not working and they know it. They know they need to leave but lack the willpower. Some count the years they have invested in the relationship, some think of the stress of starting the dating process over again, while for some, he is their first and they want him to be their last. It can be tough breaking up with someone you love, but not every relationship must end in marriage especially when you can see the writing on the wall.  It is not easy but you can do it. It will hurt but with time the pains will ease off. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage…and this cliché still holds water.

Now ladies I need you to think this over,
whether you are in a relationship or about to enter into one. Ask yourself,
If it were only me and this guy in the entire world, no expectations, no pressure, no one to please; would I still want to spend the rest of my life with him?
If your answer is “no” or “a doubtful yes”, please think twice before you get more committed or say “I do”.

Be uniquely different, be you.

Please do not forget to like my Facebook page by clicking the Facebook like button to your right and follow me on twitter @frediliamomodu One love!

Saturday, September 6, 2014

To hell with those feelings, God is always with you!

God loves you and His love is endless. His love for us is incomprehensible, words are not sufficient to describe it. He loves you more than your mum loved you when she gave birth to you. God loves you more than you can ever love yourself. 
Do not let any situation you are going through take you away from His love. No matter how unpleasant the situation is, hold on to His love.  
When you don't understand, still hold on to Him.
God will never give up on you. The fact that you are alive means He is not through with you and His plans for you are good.
Sometimes you may feel like He is far from you when you need Him most, to hell with those feelings, God is always with you. He never leaves you even when you go astray. 
Never feel ashamed or unworthy to run to Him when you fall, His love is forgiving. His chances are unlimited, so never feel it's too late. 
Begin each day with confidence in His love. In His love there is strength, joy and peace which the world cannot give. Strive to be close to God because 

I pray this touches someone...

Be uniquely different!
Please do not forget to like my Facebook page by clicking the Facebook like button to your right and follow me on twitter @frediliamomodu One love!

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